Wednesday, July 29, 2009

rachelle lefevre's (very PC) "FUCK YOU" to summit, advice for comic con twihaters, and annie tells us where to find vagina padlocks

well, summit, you're a bunch of fuckers!

this is some shady biz, and given the loyalty of the twilight fan base, you may have a few twiriots on your hands. hours ago, rachelle laferve issued an official (and very PC) "FUCK YOU" to summit in response to their (TOTALLY SHADY AND UNEXPECTED) decision to recast her role as "victoria", the twilight saga's sauciest vamp vixen. her replacement? fellow ginger bryce dallas howard. rachelle kept her rebuttal uber classy. i would have gone ape shit and blown someone up. buuuut i guess that's why i'm not famous. here's part of what rachelle had to say:

"This is a story, a theatrical journey and a character that I truly love and about which I am very passionate. I will be forever grateful to the fan support and loyalty I’ve received since being cast for this role, and I am hurt deeply by Summit’s surprising decision to move on without me. I wish the cast and crew of ‘Eclipse’ only the very best.”

the full article can be viewed online at access hollywood.

in less depressing twilight news, NPR bloggerdude glen weldon made my day with his comic con recap and the teeny weeny bit of twihater smackdown he unleashed. it's no secret that there were some disgruntled geekcore comicbook guys (and gals) at comic con who weren't hip to the twilighters. here are a few visual examples of the animosity, brought to you by the hunkiest geeks of comic con!:

OH, FOR THE LOVE OF ROBSTEN, even pattinson pants lady is cooler than you guys! (possibly a bit creepier. but cooler, mos def.)

so, twihater comic book geeks, here's a little piece of advice from comedian paul tompkins (via glen weldon aka NPR bloggerdude):

"Listen, nerds: you are living a graphic novel called GLASS HOUSES."

in other words, i might wear fangs and secretly masturbate to my life size edward cullen cardboard cutout...BUT YOU run around in spandex and super hero capes with light sabers and shit. YEAH. moral of story: don't throw stones in your glass house. NPR bloggerdude glen weldon's article is here: comic-con: the post-mortem.

and, finally, because my awesome, stinky, hyperactive three year old needs a bath like NOW, i leave you with this facebook-conversation-gem between myself and my friend arkansas annie:

arkansas annie: i have padlocked my uterus for safekeeping.

yoga ninja mama: where can I get a uterus padlock?

arkansas annie: where do we get everything in arkansas? WalMart. Next to the DIY abortion kits and cat food.

- yoga ninja mama

Monday, July 27, 2009

sage eats brownies and pocket edward is a kilt lifter (come on, you knew that!)

so, instead of heading over to my old apartment (the one i shared with ex douchey douchebag) to collect the remainder of my books and dvds, i'm procrastinating and doing this instead. this is much more fun (and less sweaty, since it's about 110 degrees here in phoenix, and the air conditioning is turned off in the old apartment.)

highlights of the past week:

1. i've trained (*cough*twilightbrainwashed*cough*) my three year old so well that he routinely asks me throughout the day, "where is edward cullen?" "where is bella?" "can i play with them?" score one for twilight moms/team edward.

2. i finished my summer semester of school with all A's, and i'm relieved of academic duties until the fall semester starts. woo!

3. i've been reading "
wide awake". OH YES. the holy grail of twi fan fic sank its teeth into me and won't let go. and i love it.

4. sage gets so excited over starbuck's double chocolate chip brownies, that i nearly pee my pants every time i mention getting one. i think the kid loves these brownies more than me, his own mama. which just goes to show he is definitely my child. chocolate over family members ANY DAY. duh.

5. pocket edward made his debut at casey moore's on saturday night. it was an event, that's fo sho. he couldn't resist the fat tire bike (poster).

6. it's confirmed, pocket edward is a dirty little kilt lifter (which is just fine by me). evidence below.

7. my friends are probably the coolest people in the world. true story.

gorgeous giggly pants tara o. ordering us some dee-lish pizza to go with our booze!

and, since today was monday, here's my 6am monday morning face, 'cause it pretty much sums up how i felt ALL friggin' day:


- yoga ninja mama

Sunday, July 19, 2009

wearing assless chaps and reading jane austen

SUH-WEET JESUS. today i got an invitation (on facebook, of all places) to attend my five year highschool reunion.

this is a tough decision, since i loved high school so much. let me deliberate...oh wait, this is easier than i thought it would be. FUUUUUCK NO.

i respectfully declined the invitation. thanks for thinking of me though, class prez. you're a classy broad.

ANYWAY, after i finished my boisterous fit of laughter, i started thinking of all the things i'd rather do than attend my high school reunion. let's have a look, shall we?

things i'd rather do than attend my high school reunion

1. wear assless chaps

2. have sex with shaq (i'm pretty sure his schlong would kill me, or at least cause some serious damage)

3. have sex with the 'leave britney alone' guy

4. set myself on fire

5. eat balut (yeah. nasty.)

6. have my soul sucked out by a dementor

6. wear ugg boots with a mini skirt (or wear them at all.)

etc. etc. etc. it's a long and graphic list. *shiver*

on a completely unrelated note, i started reading jane austen's pride and prejudice yesterday. i'm about halfway through already. let me be honest, i wasn't sure i'd have an interest in reading anything other than twilight, twilight fanfic, or other vampire fiction ever EVER again. some strange miracle occurred the other night at barnes and noble (where i was drooling over rob pattinson pictures and random twilight merchandise) and i ended up walking out of the store with a jane austen novel.

i have several explanations for this: aliens. schizophrenia. hypnosis. voodoo.

even more strange, i really found myself ENJOYING pride and prejudice. i wasn't sure i would be able to get into it, since i distinctly remember hating "the classics" that were shoved down my throat in high school (jane eyre, great expectations, a farewell to arms). but i love p&p. i attribute this mostly to my favorite character in the novel: miss elizabeth bennett. she's one of the only examples of a feminist character that i can remember reading about from jane austen's era. and the only thing i really love more than vampires are feminists. true story.

i do have a confession to make though. as much as i'm enjoying p&p, the only reason i picked up the novel in the first place was because i'm itching to read the zombie version of the novel:
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance - Now with Ultraviolent Zombie Mayhem! (vampires, zombies...i guess i'm not venturing too far from my obsession after all...)

Friday, July 17, 2009

i'm sweating balls! and other important news.

it's hot. i just want you to know that it's VERY hot. DAMN YOU, PHOENIX! now that i've gotten that out of the way.

i recently decided that sage makes a great mini edward (much to his dismay). observe:

they even have the same "i'm dark, brooding, and mysteriously handsome" look on their faces. i'm just sayin'.