i can't sleep because it's almost time for NEW (FUCKING) MOON!

so, it's 12:41 am. this time tomorrow night, i'll be sitting on the edge of my seat in a theatre making a mental note of the screaming teenies who might get a knuckle sandwich from yours truly watching NEW (fucking) MOON! i had to put the "fucking" in the middle, because it's the best way to illustrate the crack-high-like elation i'm experiencing at the thought of this. i say "fuck" a lot when i'm really excited. true story.

ANYWAY. i can't sleep. which is...not cool, since i have to be up at 4:30 to get myself and sagebug out the door on time and into the wonderful world of reality (which i'm still hoping doesn't really exist. i have this totally plausible theory that all the lame stuff in between the awesome stuff is just a boring dream.)

uhmmm, where was i?

oh yeah. NEW (fucking) MOON!

i've been ready for this shit since the day i was born. this must be the meaning of life, right? it sure as hell feels like it.

i'm a fan of lists, they help me function (and weed out all of the clutter in my brain. believe me, there's a shit ton of clutter in my brain). i make lists for just about everything in my life, and preparing for new moon was certainly no exception. this is serious business, folks.

yoga ninja mama's new moon checklist

1. movie tickets? check


2. least douchey twilight related clothing item? check


3. mild sedative to calm nerves when loud teenagers won't shut the fuck up during the movie? check (mini bottles of jack daniels :)


4. ipod loaded with twilight and new moon soundtracks for the drive to and from the theatre? check


5. extra pairs of panties to change into after experiencing multiple orgasms from seeing rob's body on a gigantic screen? check


6. fangs and bright red contacts? check


7. pocket edward (mini e)? check


8. at least one twitarded friend? check
   
9. ability to make rational/logical decisions, exhibit age appropriate behavior, and remain calm? non-existent in twilight bubble
   
10. sanity? ...what?

i'm ready! bring on the twihard army, complete with massive amounts of squeeing! will we make it out alive? it's anyone's guess. but if i die, at least i'll die in the noble pursuit of rob pattinson related media.